You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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