you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
