But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
