Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
