yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
dude. I can hear the air.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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