You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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