I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
