we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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