Sorry, I don't speak sober.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
