The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize