But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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