Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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