i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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