Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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