They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
