In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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