whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
