she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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