worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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