Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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