I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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