what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
