I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
