Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize