My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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