Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
