I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
