So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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