But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
we should paint friendship bongs
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