I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
