Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You ate ashes out of my bong
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
