My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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