Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
