Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
