he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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