I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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