Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
