we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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