i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
