I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
