I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize