he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
operation have a gay friend backfired
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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