i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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