yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
