come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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