no, he came in my armpit
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
