Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you win again, gameday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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