I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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