pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
