Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize