i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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