The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
