Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We are two peas in an std pod
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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