I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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