He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
