why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
