i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
