you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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