i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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